No limp fish!

I met Ted Sprinkman about 25 years ago.  My friend Susan wanted to take tennis lessons from him, and she asked if I'd want to take them with her.  So one Saturday morning, her parents drove us to the tennis club, where we expected to significantly improve our skills.  I had a new racquet, and I was all ready to show Ted my stuff.  He walked up to me with his hand extended.  I shook his hand as I told him my name, and he groaned.  He shook Susan's hand and groaned again.  He said, "Put your racquets down.  You won't need them for a while.  The first thing I'm going to teach you is how to shake hands."  Susan and I rolled our eyes.  For the next 10 minutes, Ted did just that.  "Put your arm straight out.  Grasp my hand firmly.  Webbing-to-webbing.  No limp fish handshakes.  Why are you looking at the floor?  I want eye contact!  Always look the person in the eye when you're shaking their hand."  Susan and I thought it was the biggest waste of time ever.  What did this have to do with tennis?  But then Ted said, "Tennis is about mental strength as much as physical ability.  You start a match shaking hands, and in that 5 seconds, you communicate whether you're confident or not, and you can learn the same about your opponent, just from their handshake.  So what do you want people to learn about you when they shake your hand?  Do you want them to think you're insecure, weak, and apathetic?  Or do you want them to see your confidence, strength, and passion for life?" 

At the time, I thought Ted was kinda lame.  But as I grew up, I learned that he was absolutely right.  We communicate a great deal when we shake somebody's hand.  By a simple handshake, we can communicate confidence, professionalism, forgiveness, warmth, compassion, gratitude, or we can communicate the opposite of those things.  The choice is ours.

It was my first year as a pastor, and I was preparing a group of confirmation students for Confirmation Sunday.  I'd walked them through the service, and I lined them up in the Narthex, where they'd be greeted after the service.  Knowing that teenagers aren't always well-schooled in etiquette, I told them to be prepared to shake hands, and to be gracious to the people who came to congratulate them.  I shook one student's hand to demonstrate.  He looked at the floor as he put his limp hand in mine.  As I opened my mouth, Ted Sprinkman flew out, "No limp fish!  And I want eye contact!"  I quickly reigned in my inner tennis pro and gave all the students a handshake lesson.  "Grasp the person's hand firmly...no limp fish...no bone-crunchers...look the person in the eye...be prepared to shake lots of hands...smile...your cheeks will stop hurting eventually."  I remember at least 3 sets of parents came over and thanked me.  Since then, every time I do Confirmation rehearsal, I give the kids a handshake lesson.  They look at me like I'm lame or slightly crazy, but I'm hopeful that someday, they'll get it, and they'll realize "Crazy Pastor Jennifer" wasn't quite so crazy.

Ted Sprinkman would be so proud.